Sometimes i wish

i could throw myself into some situation stuffed with the harsh realities of life. One much colder than my own. War or famine. A impoverished, crime infested country.

I wonder what discoveries about philosophy I'd find. New outlooks on life, I want to know what more are out there. Drastic stretched philosophies beyond the borders of what I can dream of. What discoveries would i find about the human mind.

But that's why artist who have lived those lives keep record. Those philosophers. So that people like me may have knowledge of what can be found within those environments without having to experience them.

But we also have a responsibility to experience those things ourselves. As artist. That we may write and build a truer philosophy, unpainted by the vision of someone else.

i often wonder how high the heights of philosophy from African slaves rose. Or jews. Or.. enslavement, what does that reveal in us? In our minds?

But the language from within that can be so cryptic to me, like trying to find someone in fog. I believe I truly miss the light of their poems and letters.

you know what I think of when i think about design?

I think of the cluttered ad boards @ my school. 

Raped by stacks upon stacks of, often rushed and needlessly designed,

ads. Spilled on top of one another. I think of the rows of bill boards like

loud forests packed onto the side of the highways. Or the movie posters

piled upon each other on the face of gritty landscapes like orgies

in greasy gas station stalls.

skill in art is a lot like skill in martial arts- the discipline's are all relative. There are only great artists/fighters: the winner is they who puts the most effort into their craft.

IS SUICIDE

an option?